We all get hurt at times, a harsh word, an uncaring attitude, a contrary opinion and we close our heart to the person. Sometimes we listen to the conditioning of ‘forgive and forget’ and we bury the hurt deep inside and try to keep the relationship not realising that buried stuff sprouts and becomes weeds that grow inside.
In Constellation terms, Bert says ‘first there is the wound and then we add the trauma of forgiving the person who has caused the wound’. I’m all for forgiveness if it is real, if it is something that my body is feeling Fina about, if I’m in agreement with it but I’m not for forgiveness when it’s just a higher ideal or something that I feel forced to do.
If there is pain and hurt, don’t shy away from it, feel it to it’s fullest depth and one day it will feel better and then it will be the right time to forgive. Forgiveness is not for the other but for yourself because when we close our heart the only person we hurt is ourselves. When we hold on to a grudge or hurt we give away our personal power to the other. The heart doesn’t understand that we are closing off towards one person, the heart just closes a little bit overall.
See if you can find someone to talk to and to let things out so that they don’t fester inside, so that you can get to a place of forgiving that is good for you, a place where you feel your inner power.
The reverse is also true, sometimes we want to forgive but people around us tell us that we are being too wimpy or too soft. The truth is only known by your heart, work though your emotions and see how you really feel. If it’s the time to mend go with it no matter what others say.
None of this is about the other, it’s only about you. Whatever makes you feel good, whatever makes your heart mend, whatever sets you free and whatever makes you own your power, is the right and only way to take.
In material terms if something is broken, don’t worry, it can be mended. If a project seems to be off track, do what you can to get it on track but not at the cost of yourself. Do your part but only that and let the universe take care of the rest.
Have a lovely day.