It starts at an early age when someone tells us “if you love me, you will do this for me” and we oblige because we do love them. We do learn to be somewhat more discerning as we grow older but not that much more. Sometimes there is an explicit demand and sometimes it is implicit, and sometimes it is only in our minds and not an expectation at all. It is also an effective means of control and we, ourselves are not above using it.
This week though, there will be that demand from you, explicit or implicit. Often we give in to that demand because the we don’t want to upset the apple cart or it is too much effort. Sometimes we are not even aware that this is a demand and that we have an obligation to ourselves to say ‘no’ to it. The first step always is awareness, to recognise that there is an expectation and then to be aware that to fulfil that expectation takes something away from you. That something is your power. For, every single time we cave and say yes when we want to say no, every time we keep quiet instead of speaking up, every time we show proof of our love by doing something we don’t want to do, we give away a little bit of our power and a little bit of ourselves.
Remind yourself that you cannot prove your love for someone for the first proof will be followed by the second and the third. There is no proof to give because asking for proof is the denial of love. It is difficult when it comes to people we love because we want to and choose to do a lot for them. This week, if this comes up for you, the message from the universe is pretty clear – the ask is not out of love, it is from control. You get to choose how you respond.
What goes for the other also goes for us so also be aware if you are doing the same. A little space in any relationship is very very healthy!