There are many things we do to keep people away – most of them unconsciously. When we feel anger, which is in most cases an expression of feeling hurt, we want to fling ourselves away from the other. Have you ever seen a toddler upset? They flail about their arms and physically push people away. There are two ways to deal with the toddler – to either give her space or to simply hold them till the feeling passes. There are of course no right or wrong answers with parenthood and we get the exact-right-perfect parents for our journey in this lifetime. Having said that, if we were not held as children we tend to do this pushing-away of people, maybe not physically but energetically keeping ourselves separate from others.
There is no blame here, not to the child and not to the parent. I remember locking myself in the bathroom quite frequently as a child when I was upset and I can’t imagine what my parents could have done with that. Even now the bath does sometimes become my refuge – it is also a barrier though, a means to separate myself others.
The message today is to be aware of those times when you wish to be alone, when you wish for people to go away, when you energetically push people away. And also the reverse – to be aware that when people push you away, they are hurt and what they need is for you to be there for them through all the flailing.
In Bert Hellinger’s words “This is a basic movement of life. You wait for the other to come. The counter movement is: I am coming.
This is based on an experience of course. There is no evaluation in this. It is just a matter of succeeding”. There are so many times when we are hurt and we don’t even tell the other. Instead we expect them to miraculously know that we are and then we wait, for an apology, for understanding, for the other to come to us. If that happens, try a different movement this time and take a step towards the other.
This movement is not just about people but about life itself. What all do you wait for vesus going after what you want? Are you waiting for life to find you or are you out there seizing life. You can extrapolate this movement to anything in life. Take that first step towards what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you.
You can set it up physically for yourself. Place yourself in a quiet area and keep an object that represents your desire at a distance from you. Give yourself time before make the movement towards it. Do the entire exercise slowly and with awareness and also observe what comes up for you. If you can’t complete the movement, don’t worry, just setting it up will cause the energy to shift, just don’t force anything that doesn’t come naturally. I’d love to hear how this exercise is for you!
Have a good week ❤